As promised here is my inaugural playoff address to the league
If any of you thought you got lucky and I was going to take a Lebron Style social media absence so I can focus on the playoffs you are sadly mistaken. I am going to crank this shit up to 11 and rain down loads of greatness on all of you.
Matt, I’m going to wipe my ass with your team for the 3rd time this year, trust me it won’t be close like the the last time. I would say I’m sorry for the week your about to have but you know I don’t mean it.
Jackson you got yourself a little taste of redemption after I toyed with the “integrity of the league” and you snagged a high score from me. Don’t worry, this is the only sliver of redemption you will get and I hope your broke back team (gronk/homosexual reference just to be clear) makes it to the second round so I can mushroom stamp you on my way to the ship.
And Mike…you missed the all time low score by about 4 points…guess who had it before….YOU.
But lets not get ahead of ourselves…Thursday marks the start of the greatest 3 weeks in football…TOILET BOWL WEEK.
In honor of TBV I have given the website a needed facelift and look forward to shaming TBBs for years to come.
The Official Rules of TBV
The 2 teams in this years glorious and sacred toilet bowl are Bye Week and The Swan Dive Icon and will referred to from this point forward as “The Turds”
The winner and loser will be determined by a 3 week running total and updates will be posted exclusively to toiletbowlbitch.com as to not soil the sanctity of themessageboard.net
The Turds will be allowed to alter their starting lineups each week with players currently on their roster as of the deadline
No roster adds or drops will be allowed (DEADLINE IS THURSDAY AT KICKOFF)
The loser after the 3 weeks will be “awarded” a tasty warm beer, a stylish jersey (designed by the original Bitch himself), and beautiful toilet bowl plaque to be prominently displayed in your home or office.
Leaving nothing to assumptions, the turds have no say in the making of the rules and will deal with whats dealt.
Same as last year, the Awards will be handed out at the Annual Super Drunk Super Bowl Party and is when the year of TBV Officially begins.
Also, I propose that the loser be forced to do regular live Periscope where they have to go live and take questions for a set peroid of time (30 mins?) Non Turds can discuss the topic as the week goes on.
ANY QUESTIONS FROM SOMEONE WHO’s NOT A BITCH?
I have created user names and given everyone authorization to post, accept the turds of course! same email address as the messageboard and you can probably guess what the default password is….budlight1
let me know if there are any bugs/improvement suggestions
