Look out all you bottom feeding shit sippers GUESS WHOS IN FIRST PLACE!!!!
VC #1 Mutha Fuckaaaaaa!!!!!
____________
Now its been been a while since I have dropped one of my well worded, borderline offensive messageboard posts so hang on, this is going do drop harder than Stoddart in the rankings…and it’s gonna be YUUUUGGE!!!
But before I start a special shout out to Crabtree who couldn’t even score a whole point. Michael Crabtree, thanks for not making me regret leaving 31 points on my bench and being the best player on MY team.
And since its Thanksgiving week I would like to personally thank the pile of losers I have left in my wake.
2 Gurleys – your let down was almost as ugly as the video your name references
Camburgers – How’s that star treating you?
Vicks Kennel Club – I did it for the dogs
Kramerica Industries – Newman Says Hello
Bye Week – I even tried to lose this one, thats beyond bad.
Schwab on my TDs – you wont beat me until you change that horse shit team name
FNG – fuck you FNG..that is all
Only 2 losses remain, Schwab & Engh. Schwab I will handle in the coming days, Engh ill be waiting for you in the playoffs.
__________________
Ok boys ….and FNG, there are 2 weeks left in the regular season and I couldn’t be more excited.
One thing before I break down the toilet bowl….Stoddart, Anne Frank had better luck with that star than you’ve had that last 4 weeks. W7 was pretty cool, but to follow it up L4 is better than Christmas. TB1 4 Life
The toilet bowl scenarios are starting to present themselves and I saw we can very easily find ourselves with the most anticipated toilet bowl matchup in league history…Jackson V Schwab…and heres how.
Jackson needs to lose out..Engh and Austin your up.
Schwab needs to have at least 1 loss but 2 makes it easier. Ill be doing my part this week.
And mike….It all starts with Mike and points. Mike you will have to win a tie breaker with jackson and have about 90 points to make up. For the love of god please quit playing like you want to wear that jersey again and put together a lineup that can go YUGE…trump style.
But mike needs 2 wins you say…
WHAT IF…Austin and Stoddart (who are already safely in the playoffs) leave a few holes in their line up or “rest” a few starters Belichick style in the interest of putting a Jackson v Schwab toilet bowl together. Mike would just have to do his part and score some fucking points for a change. Just a hypothetical but a few direct messages “might be” sent out later today. And I can hear the C word getting thrown around already…COLLUSION!!! What can I say I learned it from the best and now his own playbook “might” be used against him.
People don’t forget….
The other scenarios arnt nearly as exciting. Unfortunately a Sombke V Jackson toilet bowl seems out of reach (close 2nd to the best possible toiletbowl matchups of all time) and we are most likely looking at a Mike V Schwab or a Mike V Jackson. Mike its pretty hard trying to hold up the family name with wins and dominance when you are constantly throwing shit on it all day….be better.
2nd order of business, I am in serious need of a League Event. Im thinking of a Sunday/Monday combo to be able to watch football possibly around the 17th. Ill know more in the next couple of days with my schedule. It would be the perfect time to settle up on a few sidebets (austin and Jackson)
Speaking of sidebets, I feel like this has fallen by the wayside…Looking at the sidebet page im not sure who even won during rivalry week (except yours truly) and I seriously doubt that the loser fees have been paid (probably a passive protest Kaepernick style to bring awareness to the Pipeline). In order to bring awareness to sidebets I will be making one every week (including playoffs). I open the sidebet challenge to all league members and am not opposed to having multiple bets going at any given time.
This league was built on sidebets and offensive comments and its about time we got back to our roots.
SIDEBET PROPOSAL:
Schwab – Based on the both of us being the 3 maybe 4 pounds away from the peak physical fitness I formally challenge you to the Fireball Mile…You’ve heard of the beer mile right? swap out beer for fireball and you’ve got it.
The Loser (upon the next league gathering in Bismarck) shall accompany the winner and any available league member to the track (where the PPE was attempted *by most of us*). The loser will have to take a shot, run a lap, take a shot, run a lap, and repeat until the mile has been completed. Of course this will be taped and placed on youtube for the world to see. Open to distance penalties for puking and slowness.
#1 VC…Out
Fuck you FNG
Very well said. I hate agreeing with any of you stupid fucks I call friends but credit is due for such an insightful post. P.S. Fuck Crabtree
Also worth noting…Jackson could be looking at a 2nd consecutive toilet bowl….Schwab is looking to stay winless in the playoffs (TBB wins don’t count) and Mike is staring a 2nd tour as the toilet bowl bitch….lots to look forward too!
I am not above doing any and everything to make sure I stay out of TBV. While watching Narcos on Netflix that past few weeks Pablo Escobar dropped some knowledge…Everyone has a price.